A memoir and a somewhat complicated review — for a story beginning with horrific child abuse and leading to what will become a life-long adult search for healing — that could not help but raise all sorts of emotions in this reader. Empathy, pain and compassion. Curiosity and hope. Wonder, as Jane(the author) channels her years of trauma into an avoidance of intimacy and a robustly successful achieve-at-all-costs career, tempered with a new-found fascination for high-stakes shortboard surfing.

Until Jane can manage the emotional cost no longer. And it all comes tumbling down.

And so begins a rocky journey to find herself, detailed here, as the author approaches her much-needed therapy with the same no-holds-barred approach she has used to approach other aspects of her life.

Without giving too much away, this is a book that is undoubtedly heart-rending (and darkly beautiful) in parts, achingly so as we experience life through the eyes of an appallingly mistreated and vulnerable little girl. Who grows into a vulnerable adult, excelling at a visceral and dangerous extreme sport, while dissociating from feeling most of what has been buried deep inside her.

It will take time and more than one revelation, layer by layer unpeeled as the author’s search to wholeness begins. Reminiscent in some ways here of “Eat Pray Love” (a book this reader did not completely enjoy), the comprehensive look at alternative therapies encountered by the author was perhaps my least favorite section of the book.

Leading to, all in all, an interesting and important read (if somewhat uneven) that cannot fail to captivate.

A great big thank you to Netgalley, the author and the publisher for an ARC of this book. All thoughts presented are my own.